Uncyclopedia calls Michael Schumacher – Mickey Shoemaker , but it does have some hilarious stuff (factually incorrect though) ::

Read and Observe

Michael Schumacher has won more formula one championships than anyone in the last 30 years. Single-handedly made F1 racing boring. Meanwhile the governing body of the sport FIA has demanded that Micky Shoemaker tow a caravan while driving a children’s pedal car backwards to allow the opposition some form of a chance at winning a formula one race. The recent announcment of Shoemaker’s decision to retire from formula one racing has plunged the sport into chaos as somebody else can now win. There is, however, now a new race named the ‘Shoemaker technological challenge’. After the announcement that Shoemaker will work with his team (Ferrari F1) from home as a race-directer via the internet, a $1,000,000 prize is being offered to the first person who successfully hacks his password.

Some Stuff about the Monaco formula one track :

Monaco is well known as the only formula one track Micky Shoemaker has any difficulty on. This is the first race at the track since the beginning of the 2000 season, which saw Shoemaker’s longest losing streak – 2 races. This was because the 1999 season finale and 2000 season opener were both held at Monaco, and Shoemaker was swept up in the ceremonial big first lap crash. The race was reinstated after Shoemaker fell asleep at the vote, a plan by everyone else (except Sid Kick) to have someone else win a race for a change. Despite it being the setting for the latest chapter of Shoemaker-gate, and Shoemaker being penalized for the only time in his career, he won after everyone else crashed on the first lap.

And here is some stuff about Cheating Allegations against him :

In recent years, allegations of cheating by Michael Schumacher have been made by other teams following a bizzare series of accidents. These claims were first made in 1994 when, going into the final round, the car of a rival competitior for the World Championship exploded mid-race at a time when the driver was just one point behind Shoemaker. The race was controversial in its own right as it ran through the People’s Democratic (But Not Overly So) Republican Monarchy of Zugabia, which was currently in the middle of a cease-fire after its four hundred and ninety-first bloody civil war. The explosion of the car – no-one remembers the driver’s name, but he now works for Pizza Hut – resulted in ethnic tensions flaring up again.

In 1997, Shoemaker was again called into question when security footage arose of him giggling as he planted what looked suspiciously like a bomb on his opponent’s car in the final round of the World Championship, this time held in Antarctica. He was cleared after the explosion when Oscar Wilde theorised that the explosion may have been caused by a slip in the time-space continuum. 1997 was also the year Hermann Tilke was fired for building tracks in “exotic” places after the Antarctican and Zugabian incidents.

In 2000 Shoemaker was at it again, this time when he was awarded a Stop-Go Penalty. Although such penalties are commonly awarded for displaying exemplary driving skills such as hitting pedestrians and the occasional streaker, Shoemaker-gate Number 3 was notable because it was the first time a driver actually bothered to take the penalty.

In 2002, Shoemaker is said to have fired a heat seeking missile upon David Coulfard, after he zapped Shoemaker’s car to shrink it to a miniscule size in a desperate attempt to make him lose the race. Coulfard’s car was blown up centimetres from the line, and he was beaten by Micky Shoemaker, and his brother Ralph, and his parents Mr and Mrs Shoemaker, and Granny Shoemaker, and her pet tortoise, Gunther.

Finally, in Monaco, 2006, Shoemaker claimed to have lost control of his car at 1.6km/h. The resulting accident demolished a city block and caused a two-hundred metre section of track to collapse into the ocean, no mean feat given that the circuit was six kilometres from anything resembling a body of water. Some believe this was an effort to stop his opponents from setting a qualifying time that would beat his pole position, though the Sid Kick, the only person who could rival him, was out after his car detonated in practice. When asked about Shoemaker-gate Number No-One-Is-Counting-Any-More, the man himself was quoted as saying “Oops”.